Nun of Your Business
by KbellaManoso
Summary: Goofy romp- or a fairly typical day in the life of Stephanie Plum and friends. This is a response to Spiffytgm's challenge.


**Nun of Your Business.**

**A/N: This is in response to a Spiffytgm Challenge. Finally I got a short one shot done and in a timely manner to a challenge. This is an exciting day! ;) Hope you enjoy this scene- a little harmless fun. Mistakes are mine alone.**

When Stephanie's most recent POS car went offline, Tank knew it was only seconds before his partner would come flying through his office door and down the stairs to her last known coordinates. He pulled up the trackers in her purse on the computer in front of him and saw that it wasn't moving but was still online. There was a good chance she was with the purse and neither had gone up in a fiery mess with the car. He wasn't sure you could even call that rusted up tin can with wheels a car but it was her, or rather _had_ been her most recent form of transportation since she refused to take a car from Ranger this last time she had a vehicular mishap.

"Text me the locations of her other trackers," he instructed Hal. Right on cue, Ranger raced through the office toward the stairs. "Right behind you," Tank called hot on his trail. He knew Lula was with Stephanie today, so he hoped that they hadn't gotten into more trouble than they could handle. Who was he kidding, this was their women he was talking about, _of course they did! _Those two could find trouble in a nunnery. He shuddered at the thought.

He hopped into the closest shiny black SUV as Ranger peeled out of the garage in the turbo and became a black blur as it hit the street.

Tank's phone rang as he reached the intersection. He pressed a meaty finger to the speaker option. "Talk to me," he said.

"Sir, yes sir," Hal stuttered. "Bomber's trackers are all at Trenton Costume Parlor on 14th, except one. Trenton Fire is on scene and Trenton PD is on the way."

"Where is the other signal coming from?"

"About five blocks down on 14th and Winchester."

"Copy that," Tank said and hung up.

Ranger slowed down to a crawling speed to cruise the scene. He saw the controlled chaos that has become a regular response to one of Stephanie's car fires. His trained eyes scanned for any sign of his Babe. His concentration so intense he nearly jumped out of his hide when his phone plinked with a text. Hal. _Tracker five blocks away on 14__th__._ Ranger didn't sense her at this scene so he made his way over to 14th and the tracker signal location. A minute later he pulled in right behind Tank and parked. He was getting that tingle he always got when she was near. But where? The street was nearly empty and a number of small shops lined the street.

Ranger slid out of his car and looked around. What he saw stunned him. He watched in awe as a heavyset nun grabbed a hold of a young guy's shirt, body slammed him to the ground and sat on him. She wiggled around on him grinding the smaller man into the sidewalk.

Another nun came running up to them with a box of what appeared to be donuts in her hand and handed it to the first nun.

Ranger watched traffic and waited for the right moment and jogged across the street with Tank right behind him gun drawn. As they approached they could hear the boy struggling to breathe but still trying to talk his way out of this situation. "Why you gotta punish a fine upstanding citizen such as myself?"

"We're on a mission from God," the nun told him and smacked the donut box down on his head. She pulled out a donut and shoved half into her mouth. "Get off me you fat bitch!" "Who you callin' fat pip squeak?"

A man came running up the sidewalk and grabbed the second nun's sleeve and jerked her back. The nun ripped her arm away and his hand flung back hitting himself in the face causing a familiar cracking sound moments before it started gushing blood all over the front of him. "I knew you bitches were trouble as soon as I saw you!" he shouted. Tank jumped between the two holding his gun hand out toward the bleeding man. "Boys, you got to learn not to talk to nuns that way!"

Ranger burst out laughing. He laughed and laughed, resting his hands on his knees as he struggled to catch his breath. His uncharacteristic laughter was contagious and soon Tank started to chuckle too. He handed his handcuffs to the first nun. "I don't see what is so damn funny!" she snorted ripping the cuffs from his hand and quickly securing the pinned man's arms.

The second nun made her way over to Ranger. "Ranger?" she said trying to decide if she was mad he was laughing at her expense or in awe because he was laughing and not just a chuckle but near hysterics. "Sister Babe," he gasped; another round of laughter erupting until he had to wipe a tear from his eye. Slowly regaining his composure, he reached over and plucked the wimple from her head and her wild curls spilled out and blew gently in the breeze. Her brilliant blue eyes were wide in disbelief. He pulled her tight into his chest and kissed the top of her head. "Oh Babe, you never disappoint!"

Her arms wrapped around him and their lips came together in a passionate kiss. The hand still holding the wimple cupped the back of her head as their tongues explored.

Tank offered Lula a hand up and placed a large boot on the man's butt to keep him from trying to escape. He called in to Rangeman to have someone pick up the young skip and take him to the precinct and to have an EMT sent over to treat the foul mouthed man bleeding all over the sidewalk.

"Thanks for the assist," Lula said offering Tank a donut. He grinned and took one. "My pleasure Lulabear. Care to tell me what happened here and who firebombed the car?"

Lula pointed to the man on the ground. "James Levitt. We were in the costume store and he wandered in. White girl recognized him; we gave chase. He threw his cigarette at that death trap she calls a car and the damn thing went up immediately. We chased him to here, ending up in front of Voodoo Donuts. White girl knew my blood sugar was getting low on account we ain't had lunch yet. I think you know the rest."

"Who is the bloody one?" Tank asked.

"Oh, clerk from costume store. He must of thought we were stealing these nun suits. We kinda forgot we were wearing them when we ran after the skip."

Tank grinned and kissed Lula's lips lightly. He reached for another donut and Lula jerked the box away. "Uh uh, I didn't see yo ass chasin' that dumbass, I earned these!" she said jerking on the box.

Not seeing his ex-girlfriend at the scene of her burning car, Morelli started back toward the station wondering where she was. He cruised up 14th Street in his unmarked Trenton POS police car wondering whether she was at her place or with Manoso. Then he saw it. Something he wasn't prepared for; on the sidewalk in front of him was Ranger kissing a nun and Tank having a tug of war over a box of donuts with a swearing nun. "Crimeny, why me?" he groaned and shook his head as he cruised on by.

**A/N: I hope you got a laugh or two from this silly idea that popped into my head at the challenge. Please leave me a note and let me know what you think. :)**


End file.
